We’ve all heard the saying if what you’re doing isn’t working, change it. Sounds great to me, you might say, but how do you change things? Where do you start?
You start by doing something different than what you would normally do. This can be hard for many people because it means getting out your comfort zone. It’s pretty comfortable there, at least it feels like that to us. But is it really? If something isn’t going well in your life, is it really comfortable?
If What You’re Doing Isn’t Working
Let’s say you’ve put on a lot of weight since last year. Yikes! You step on the scale and you are a lot heavier than you thought you were. You know you should eat right and exercise, but oh, look how the time flies during the day! Oh well, might as well sit and watch tv, or take care of the kids, or do this or that. Can you see where I’m going with this? It feels more comfortable to not push ourselves to lose the weight, but really, that nagging feeling in the back of our head is saying it doesn’t feel so great. We think we are avoiding pain by ignoring our mind and our body’s signals that it is uncomfortable, but we are putting off the inevitable. In this case, declining health later in life, limited mobility, and yeh, bigger clothes’ sizes. Which has more pain associated with it: the couch potato or the healthy and fit person? Who has more energy, better health, and more vibrancy because all those nagging thoughts aren’t weighing you down?
Another example is when you fight a lot with someone–your child or a spouse. Many times you can fall into the habit of fighting about the same things, and guess what– you often get the same results. Check in with yourself to see how you are “hooked” into the argument. Be curious–why are you so reactive, why does it escalate? Own your feelings, thoughts, and actions; don’t worry about theirs so much. How they interact during those times tells you more about them, not you. When you are aware of what hooks you, make a conscious effort not to be drawn in. Choose a different response.
If what you’re doing isn’t working, change it. Change how you react and how you respond; change that aspect of how you live that isn’t working so you can live a more fulfilling and happier life.